mikesgirl

Well I messed up big time, but found how a support system off line can be helpful too.  Well you all know I was laid off a couple weeks ago, and frankly I fell into a depression about it despite my best efforts not to.  I really hated that job, and I know this is a chance for me to start fresh, but seriously, I did not do well last week.  I ate ice cream, only went to the gym once, on Monday and kept allowing Mike to enable me to do so when I knew it was wrong.  I know he is only trying to be there for me, but dont buy me Phish Food ice cream when you know im trying to diet on top of everything else.  It was all I could think about, sitting there in the freezer.  I ended up eating the entire pint myself, and finishing off a pint of Cherry Garcia last night as well.  On the upside there is no more ice cream in the house and I highly doubt Mike will be buying any more.  The ice cream wasnt the only food mistake I made either.  I ate total crap the entire time.  I didnt visit Buddyslim at all, didnt blog, didnt log in my food journal, I knew what I was eating was bad and wrong for my diet but I figured if I didnt go to buddyslim last week I would not be held accountable.  Too bad I didnt take into account my own will power and how I would feel after a weeks worth of badness.

 I did not go to the gym at all last week.  Actually that’s another lie, I went on Monday, went for a good three hours too.  The only reason I left was cuz I thought I might pass out I worked so hard!  But then Mike threw his back out at work and was home for four days so I was taking care of him.  And on Friday I just plain did not feel like going since I hadnt gone all week, so once again, didnt go.  To say I felt bad was an understatement.

My brother (who lost 70 lbs last year on his own) came to visit this weekend so we could see Spamalot which was touring through Philly (hilarious, def go if you get the chance.)  Anyway, we talked about what I was doing and how I needed to get back on track.  He had some great advice and told me that I was on track for awhile but with getting laid off my lifestyle def changed and it became harder to get out to the gym.  He suggested upping my work outs, and starting to run.  Generally I always say, I dont run, unless I am being chased and even then it depends on who is donig the chasing.  But he certainly had a point.  The only time in my life I remember being happy with my body from working out was when I was running.  My buddy Bob dropped 60 lbs just by running, said  by doing so he cant keep the weight ON if he tries and he is still going strong!  I need to kick this into high gear.  Recognize that I may not go the gym everyday anymore being that it is so far away and inconvienent to get to, so when I do go, I need to make it count.  And who knows, maybe I will even get into the habit of running, and then I wont be able to keep the weight on!  Anyway, I am determined to at least follow my diet today, and I know I will be going to the gym after this blog!  Sorry I have been gone for so long buddies, I will certainly make more of an effort to stay on track and keep up with my Buddyslim commitments!

So yesterday I guess I got pretty depressed, cuz I ate like a straight up pig.  I was pretty good when I was on my own.  Being unemployed leaves one with a lot of extra time on their hands.  So I really tried to pay attention to what I was eating.  I had my special k for breakfast and my sandwhich for lunch.  Then I actually went and took the train into the city and went to the gym.  Went for a good two hours! 

But then I came home.  Mike insisted that I was having a rough day and bought me my fav ice cream, even included chocolate syrup.  I really dont get ice cream like ever so I am sorry to say I totally dove right in.  Then he decided to make cookies for dessert and i ate three of those delish homemade fresh out the oven chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies.  I feel pretty bad about it today actually. 

I have been freaking out about being laid off so Mike suggested I take today off from worrying and applying for jobs and I think it was a really good thing to do.  I cleaned the house, ate right and took some me time and became more ok with the fact that I don’t have a job and I may even have a plan for the future now.  I have decided to FINALLY take those pesky GREs and try and get my butt into grad school!  I am going to start studying on Monday.  I figure I will give it a few days, see how comfortable I am with everything, then sign up for the test.  There is a three week waiting period after one signs up so I am hoping I will at least be able to have taken the test by September.  I have plenty of applications out righ tnow and I will continue to follow up as well as apply for new positions.  I feel a lot better knowing I have some sort of plan in action.  It almost seems like I have more to do now than I did when I was employed.  Or maybe I am just actually taking the chance to do all the things I wanted to do before, and now I just have the time to complete everything!  Anyway, have a great weekend everyone, and I will make more of an effort to stay on track. It’s a deal.

off… yes, its true, I got laid off yesterday.  As you all know I have been pretty unhappy with my current work situation.  As it turns out, the company is going under and a few of us got laid off yesterday at the end of the day.  It was a little emotional, but more so because the two managers in the office with me who broke the news were crying and when I am around someone that is crying I can’t help but get choked up.  They did not want to see me go and seemed very upset to be the barers of the CEO’s bad news but offered to help me in any way they can to find a new job.  I gave back the key and gathered my things, hugged everyone goodbye and called my Michael, really unsure of what to do, where to go from there.  He was such a rock for me yesterday I can not even tell you.  He assured me we were financially stable and that this happens all the time, especially in a market such as this.  He reminded me that I have been applying other places and I was unhappy there anyway so this is really a blessing in disguise.  Then he told me to get my butt to the gym!  I actually laughed out loud when he said this, but he was right.  He said he didnt want to hear me argue, that I should go for about an hour and work out my frustrations and I will feel better once I get home.  He was so right.  I spent that hour on the elliptical and in that time I had gone from teary depression to a major can do attitude.  I just need to be as disiplined in my job search as I have been in my weight loss journey and I will have a job in no time.  I am pretty irratated that I just dropped 120 bucks on a train pass for the month of August on MONDAY and I get laid off on Tuesday, but my gym is in center city so at least this way I dont have an excuse not to go.  I suppose everything works out the way it should.  Let’s just hope I find that next great step in my career (before I go batty!)

Well first off let me say this weekend was amazing!  It was nice to take some time off from life in general and just spend some time with my man.  Spending this extra quality time with him made it even more clear why we have made it 3 years! And yes, he LOVED the xbox 360, and I may have mentioned some interest in guitar hero so he went out and bought that and I have to say I may have changed my mind about hating video games.  Either I was meant to be a rock star or that game is just ridiculously fun!

On the weight loss front, I feel bigger today.  I can feel extra weight on me.  I think this is from my gym schedule being disrupted and I am going to make an effort to getting more on track.  I experimented with interval training last week and I am going to def keep that up when I am working my cardio.  I think I have two more weeks of this gym construction business so I am just going to bite the bullet and go, locker room or not.  I can change at the office, while its annoying and inconvienent, I do NOT want to see all my hard work go to waste.  So Hello Philadelphia!  Take a look at my gym clothes, cuz for the next two weeks I will be walking around in them.  Have a great day everyone!