mikesgirl

I am not ok at all right now.  I am trying to figure out life so much and I feel like I am over thinking.  I am under an intese amount of stress and frankly im not 100% on where all this stress is coming from.  I have not even been thinking about weight loss lately and that is really the only thing that I really ever stayed on track with.  Well actually now due to this stoppage lately, I can’t even really say that this is the only thing I have ever stuck with.  I really need to focus on my weight loss again.  I just feel like everything right now is all up in my head.  Making the right decisions can be quite hard, especially when what is really right for you, may not be what you inherently want.  I feel like life suddenly became real, and its quite intense.  Obviously I am not talking about weight loss so much anymore. 

There are a lot of things falling down on me right now.  Last night I went over a new friends house and while we were just talking, I actually had a panic attack.  She is a lovely person and really not the type to judge, but still, thats pretty embarrassing.  I havent had one in awhile, and I used to attribute them to work, but now that I am not working, I dont see a pattern anymore.  I definitely feel stressed out, but not being sure of what caused this panic attack is bad enough by itself.  I have a lot to do right now and not knowing what I am so stressed about makes me stress more.  I got nothing done yesterday, nothing at all.  Almost like I knew it was coming or something.  And now I feel like I need to take a mental health day cuz yesterday and last night were so rough.  Then thinking about the stuff I will not be getting done stresses me out more.  I am stuck in this vicious cycle and I need to get out of it.  Sorry if i just bummed everyone out.  Clearly I have a lot to think about.